This will most likely be the last post I ever do on this silly little blog. I started it two years ago with a stupid play on words of a vague TV show reference that only late 90’s kids would understand… and that’s the way I’d like the finish it.
I have less than two weeks until I start college–I’m hittin’ up the University of Dayton by the way, #FlyerTilIDyer–and I’m a whole mix of emotions.
For starters I’m extremely excited to be living on my own and meeting so many new people and experiencing so many new opportunities. In the worlds of the great Bo Burnham, “If life is a birth canal then I am a freshly jellied kid, come witness my crowning.” That is how I feel, minus all the grotesque details. I feel like everything up until this point, whether it be sports, or school, or love life, has prepared me for this first step into the adult world.
And I think that I am adequately prepared to make that first step. But the worst part of a goodbye is no closer. So this post is going to (hopefully) give me, and maybe the other two people who read this some closure.
When I came into high school, I was told that it was a time to learn more about myself, a time to figure out what my interests are and how I could set myself up for success in the future by starting a platform for a career based on that interest. I knew three things walking into that first day of my freshman year:
1. Math came easy to me–check my record, I wrecked it on my SAT.
2. I didn’t think I would ever live up to any potential.
3. I was incredibly insecure.
Those three things were what I tried to make my identity. I toke the hardest math class I could, sat back in every other class and cruised, and tried to drown my insecurities by trying to convince other people that I was actually cool.
This lead to three new discoveries in my high school life:
1. What is comfortable will get you nowhere
2. Potential is a bad thing, doing is good.
3. Forgetting insecurity will make you happy.
Now, that is far too deep for a blog called “Bad Luck Charlie.”
What I wanted to do with this blog was open up my thoughts to be able to be read by other people. I wanted my words to hopefully make a difference in someone’s life, while also trying to make sense out of my own.
I made this as an outlet to get my opinions out. So here are some things that I want to share to the limited audience.
I found myself in my senior year. I wasn’t always the happiest kid, and I used things like parties and short flings to try to fool others that I was happy all the time. And maybe I got too caught up in trying to get others to see me as happy to actually be happy. And that led to many mistakes.
I’ve done a lot of stuff, said a lot of stuff, that I wish I never did. And hopefully one day I can look back and laugh.
Before this past year of my life, I would rather shut people out then let them in. I lied and found solace in those lies.
That all changed when I got to know a few people a lot better. One was my head football coach and my main mentor. He showed me that I had the power to be a leader and could direct a brotherhood to a successful campaign. Another was my girlfriend. She showed me that there were parts of me worth loving when I couldn’t see any. Another was my English teacher. He taught me that my voice was worth hearing.
All these people played a massive role in making me the person I am today. They are the ones that have given me the confidence to post something like this for all the world to see. I have a special place in my heart for all of them.
I don’t know what I was trying to achieve when I set out to write this. I guess it can be a thank you to those three people.
Kurry, thank you for believing in me and holding me to the highest standard possible. You made my failures part of my growth and supported me during both the highs and the lows of our season. My admiration for you can’t be described.
Courtney, thank you for being there for me, always. You’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been and I can’t wait to see what you will make of the world. I never thought that I would meet someone who would affect my life the way you did so soon. I hope that one day everyone will be able to feel the way you made me feel.
Luke, thank you for opening my mind to new ideas. Because of you, I see myself as a better man because of the way you taught me to always look at others perspectives before making a generalization. The world needs more people like you in it.
And if you have gotten this far. If you have laughed at any of my stupid, boyish jokes. If you have learned or thought something knew because of this blog, thank you too. From the bottom of my heart, this is my favorite thing to do. To be able to post things to the world and have people read and enjoy them is mind-blowing to me.
So, thank you, to everyone for giving me an outlet to rant and share. It was therapeutic to me and helped me find who I really want to be. I hope that one day I will make you all proud of what I do.